ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize