I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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