You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
