I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
