I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
