im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
be right there i have to get my cape
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
