just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I need to align my fucking chakras
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
