You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
