Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
