y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
