alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
