I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She said her name was "party"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize