the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
