The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
one might say we're banned from that church
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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