Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
