If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
