ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and she was petting her beer can
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
