My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
