Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
