Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
