I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
