Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
