I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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