apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
