nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
