I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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