Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize