I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
