I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
