I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
