i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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