508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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