Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
