I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
