I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize