love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's like God shit irony all over that family
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
