Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
