When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
