Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
