What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
