bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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