I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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