We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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