hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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