I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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