well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize