You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
