I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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