It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
