You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
