I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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