I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
