Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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