Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
