Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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