No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
