What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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